Littler Only Once

Littler

The irony in Littler being surrounded by sisters is that I had always envisioned myself with a lot of boys and one girl.  So far it’s the opposite!  🙂

This is one truly remarkable young man!!  I think so far, I am the most challenged by him, perhaps because he is the most like me?  He is very sensitive.  This is a wonderful and especially important quality to have being surrounded by girls.  Add an active imagination, a choleric temperament, and a quick temper along with a strong will, and you’ve got one Momma who just doesn’t know the best way to respond.  All of that sounds rather negative and I even feel somewhat guilty for so immediately launching into the fact that I so often don’t know what to do with/for him.  However, it is precisely all of the things that are challenging that are also the most wonderful about him!  He is his own little person, one who reveals and reflects new and wonderful qualities of our Creator.  Qualities that my life would be so desperately lacking without him.  The challenging aspects of his personality are not so difficult because of who he is, but because of my own weaknesses and my own quick temper.  Gulp.  Did I just admit that?!

In the midst of what seems like constant frustration and even failure on my part, is the striking realization that this kid brings so much joy, laughter, and honesty into our family!  There is no way that we would be complete without his laughter, his ability to find humor in situations, his amazing ability to readily forgive, his gratitude for even the smallest favors, and even his deeper spiritual sense.  He ponders things that surprise me and is not afraid to ask questions about them.  I’m impressed at his keen spiritual awareness.  He’s still a four year old boy, no less.  These things are not always on the surface or apparent to others.  But, I have the amazing gift as his mother to see this part of him.  I’m continually humbled by him.  How I think that my failings as a mother affect him so much more than my other children, yet he is always the first to say, “I love you.”  Or, “Thank you.”  (All of this is not to say that I don’t think that I’m a good mother.  I love this little guy so much, and I enjoy spending time with  him.  But maybe my little touch of honesty will help another mother know that she doesn’t have to be a saint to “qualify” for her job!  :))

I’m on a song kick and found one for this little guy.  This struck me because it is true that I often wish for him to “be out of this needy phase” and into the next.  But, what’s so bad about him needing me and wanting me so much?  He’ll only be little once.

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